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Sex: Are these healthy or unhealthy conversations about sex?

Which of these situations are examples of healthy conversations around sex?

And which ones aren’t?

Can you spot which of these situations show healthy conversations being played out? If you think the scenario is an example of a healthy relationship conversation, select ‘True’. If you don’t think the scenario is an example of a healthy relationship conversation, select ‘False’.

true or false
You're with a group of friends discussing relationships, when one of your friends asks you a question. Before you can reply, someone else shouts "They’re a virgin, they wouldn’t understand!" Everyone starts laughing, and you feel really embarrassed and uncomfortable, even though you know you’re not the only one in this position.
TRUE FALSE
Incorrect, in this scenario, you are experiencing hurtful comments that are designed to make you feel left out, implying that being a virgin is a bad thing. You may then feel pushed into having sex just to be like your friends.
Correct, in this example, you are experiencing an unhealthy conversation about sex by your friends. The hurtful comments are designed to make you feel left out, implying that being a virgin is a bad thing. You may then feel pushed into having sex just to be like your friends.
true or false
You and your partner are enjoying a relaxing night in watching a Netflix when they lean in for a kiss. You’re both enjoying it, but then they push to take things up a level. You say you don’t feel comfortable with that, but they then say "If you really loved me, you’d have sex with me."
TRUE FALSE
Incorrect, this is not a healthy conversation about sex with your partner. In this situation, you’re being manipulated into feeling guilty so you’ll have sex even though you don’t feel ready. It’s important to remember that there’s no pressure in consensual sex. Consensual sex is when you’re both ready and feel happy and relaxed about the situation.
Correct, this is an example of an unhealthy conversation with your partner. In this situation, you’re being manipulated into feeling guilty so you’ll have sex even though you don’t feel ready. It’s important to remember that there’s no pressure in consensual sex. Consensual sex is when you’re both ready and feel happy and relaxed about the situation.
true or false
You and your friends are having fun hanging out together when the conversation moves on to relationships. One of your friends says how pleased they were to have waited to find the right partner before having sex for the first time as it made the experience feel more special for both of them. You say that you want to wait until you meet the right person before having sex, and your other friends also agree.
TRUE FALSE
Correct, this is an example of a healthy conversation about sex. In this situation, friends are just talking about sex and relationships. No-one is pressurising anyone else or making anyone feel bad for having had sex or not having had sex. Everyone agrees that sex is about feelings and you need to take the next step in a relationship only when the time is right.
Incorrect, this isn't an example of an unhealthy conversation about sex. In this situation, friends are just talking about sex and relationships. No-one is pressurising anyone else or making anyone feel bad for having had sex or not having had sex. Everyone agrees that sex is about feelings and you need to take the next step in a relationship only when the time is right.
true or false
Your phone beeps with a Whatsapp message from your partner saying how much they are looking forward to coming over to see you later. The last time you saw each other, you agreed to take your relationship to the next level and have sex for the first time. In the next message, your partner says they don’t think you should bother with a condom as their mates say it spoils the experience. You message back to say you think it’s important, only for them to reply that they won’t bother coming round at all then.
TRUE FALSE
Incorrect, this is a scenario highlighting peer pressure. In this situation, you’re being pressured into having unprotected sex, and you’re absolutely right to hold your ground. As well as preventing unwanted pregnancy, condoms also protect you against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) so you are quite within your rights to refuse to have sex without one.
Correct, in this situation, you’re being pressured into having unprotected sex, and you’re absolutely right to hold your ground. As well as preventing unwanted pregnancy, condoms also protect you against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) so you are quite within your rights to refuse to have sex without one.
true or false
You're chatting with your friends about whether you should have sex with your partner or not. You explain to them that you feel ready, but are feeling quite nervous as it will be your first time whereas your partner has had sex before. Your friends each offer you advice and discuss their own situations, and some of them say they wish they had waited longer. Others say they wish they hadn’t waited so long before having sex.
TRUE FALSE
Correct, this is an example of a healthy conversation about sex with your friends. Friends should be supportive of your decisions and be there to talk things through with you in confidence. In this example, they’re just sharing advice based on their own experiences without putting pressure on you to make particular choices. Remember, you can also talk things over with a school nurse. Make an appointment to see them in school to discuss things in confidence.
Incorrect, this isn't an example of an unhealthy conversation about sex. Friends should be supportive of your decisions and be there to talk things through with you in confidence. In this example, they’re just sharing advice based on their own experiences without putting pressure on you to make particular choices. Remember, you can also talk things over with a school nurse. Make an appointment to see them at school to discuss things in confidence.

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